Training Partner
by haveyounomercy
Summary: Kurita becomes Ryohei's boxing partner. Tsuna sighs a lot. No family dinner is safe again.


**A/N:** Because why wouldn't I do this. Sorry for the OOC-ness of everyone and everything.

o~

The first time Tsuna hears about Kurita Ryoukan, he doesn't give the other boy much thought. Not because he doesn't care, but more because his hair is on _fire_ and he's a little pre-occupied with other thoughts.

"I'm extreme sorry that I can't make it to dinner tonight!" Ryohei screams through Tsuna's cell phone as Lambo flies in an arc over Tsuna's head.

"It's fine, onii-san!" Tsuna says as Reborn pours water on his head. Somewhere behind him, Gokudera is screaming. "It's kind of crazy here anyway." But really, he thinks, when is it ever not crazy in his family?

Meanwhile, Yamamoto holds a plate of half-burnt sushi and laughs. "I told you that you shouldn't eat all the wasabi! Your reaction was pretty funny though."

"I can hear Gokudera screaming, so I bet there's something extremely awesome happening!" Ryohei's voice screams.

Tsuna holds the phone a little farther away from his ear. "Yeah, uh, it's pretty awesome?" He's already counting down to when Hibari will show up and punish them all for disturbing the peace of the sushi restaurant even though that should technically be Yamamoto's job since it's his father's place and _why is Yamamoto eating the burnt sushi_?

"I'm training with this guy named Kurita Ryoukan! My senpai from Taiyou introduced us and he's extremely fat! And strong! But extremely fat!"

When Hibari slams the doors to the restaurant open, Tsuna quickly mumbles an apology to Ryohei before hanging up and trying to placate the cloud guardian. It does not work.

Later when Reborn congratulates him on another "good bonding experience", Tsuna remembers the conversation and thinks that this Kurita guy must be pretty strong to train with Ryohei, of all people.

He shrugs and continues to bandage Lambo, who suffered the brunt of Gokudera's rampage. The little one cries the entire time and tries to bite Tsuna. Tsuna sighs.

o~

A week later, Tsuna is on the phone with Ryohei again but this time there's no fire in his hair. Or anywhere, thankfully. But that's probably just because Gokudera is taking a nap.

(Well, taking a nap is what he tells his confused mom. In reality, Gokudera got into another fight with Hibari and Yamamoto had to knock him out before the two of them destroyed the school entrance. _Again_.)

Tsuna tries to enjoy the peace for as long as he can. "So yeah, my mom invited you over for dinner tonight. Everyone else is coming too!"

"Can my training partner come too?"

Tsuna does a double take. "You mean the same one from last week?" It is extremely rare for anyone to spar with Ryohei for more than a day, usually because they end up being hospitalized.

"Yeah!" Ryohei's chirps. "He's an extremely cool guy!"

"Of course he can come," Tsuna smiles. It might be nice to meet someone normal and not part of the mafia business for once. Ryohei cheerfully screams goodbye and Tsuna hangs up smiling until he sees Reborn staring at him innocently.

"Wait, is this guy an assassin? A mafia boss? An illusion casted from the future or whatever?"

Reborn only gives him a look that makes Tsuna feel pathetic. "Silly Tsuna, he's just a high schooler who plays American Football."

Tsuna sighs in relief. "So he's normal then."

Reborn only smiles mysteriously.

o~

So far, no one has fought yet. Judging from the way that Gokudera is tapping his foot impatiently, though, Tsuna gets ready to be lit on fire again. Especially because Hibari is here today, if only because he has a soft spot for Tsuna's mom's homemade croquettes. And also because, Tsuna suspects, he still has a bone to pick with Gokudera.

He can feel his headache coming on.

They're about to dig in when Ryohei's voice comes flooding in from the front door. Tsuna laughs at the older boy's exuberance, with his thumbs ups and screaming and suddenly he is staring at… something very round.

"This is my extreme training partner, Kurita-senpai!" Ryohei introduces.

Kurita waves a meaty hand at all of them, while… shaking in fear? "H-hi everyone! I play American Football and I go to Deimon High!"

"I've never seen someone as fat as you before," Yamamoto says breezily. "Are you a lineman?"

Kurita seems to gain a little confidence as he puffs out his cheeks. "Yes! I'm the center lineman!" Tsuna can't help but like the older guy, because he seems so… harmless. And nice. (And fat.)

"You don't seem like you would be very good." Hibari says nonchalantly, seemingly disgusted with the lineman. "I hope you don't hang around Nanimori too often."

Tsuna gulps as Ryohei takes a menacing step forward. "What did you say about senpai? He's max strong!"

"Let's not fight, everyone." Tsuna says meekly before getting up and standing beside Kurita. "We're just going to eat dinner, right?"

Gokudera snorts. "I don't think he really needs to eat _more_."

"Gokudera!" Tsuna yelps, looking up at Kurita apologetically. "I'm sorry, Kurita-san, they're a bit… rough?"

Kurita just smiles. "Don't worry, I'm used to being called fat." Then he tilts his head, "You know, you look a lot like someone I know. Do you have an older brother?"

Tsuna shakes his head as Ryohei grabs the collar of Gokudera's shirt. "Apologize to Kurita-senpai!"

"Don't fight, you guys!" Kurita says, looking scared and sounding oddly familiar to Tsuna. "I'm okay, really!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Gokudera snarls as he lights up a stick of dynamite.

Ryohei swings his fist back to punch the other guardian when he is suddenly picked up and thrown aside. Tsuna watches, open-mouthed, as Kurita then tackles Gokudera in a bear hug screaming things about how explosives are dangerous.

Everyone is silent for a while before Ryohei gets up, grinning and bleeding. "See? I told you senpai was strong!"

"It would benefit you not to move for a while," Reborn tells Gokudera calmly as Kurita stands up. Gokudera only groans as Hibari eyes Kurita suspiciously.

And then, in true everything-that-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong fashion, Hibari jumps over the table and slams a tonfa into Kurita's stomach.

Kurita _doesn't budge an inch_.

Tsuna blinks. A lot.

"Children shouldn't play with guns," Kurita says to Reborn while he nervously hands Hibari a box of chocolates. "I'm sorry, did I do something wrong? I don't want us to fight, so let's be friends!"

"Reborn doesn't use real bullets." Tsuna says lamely, because that's really all he can say at the moment.

That's when his mom comes out of the kitchen, holding a plate full of food. "I'm so glad you're making new friends, Tsu-kun!" She gushes, ignoring Gokudera's limp body. Turning back towards the kitchen, she calls out, "Yoichi-kun, can you bring the rice?"

"Of course!" Tsuna's eyebrows shoot all the way up to his hairline as a tall blonde with extremely pointy teeth swaggers out of his kitchen. Also, he has a machine gun slung over his shoulder. Tsuna takes this as the defining sign that tonight will not be a peaceful night.

"Hiruma-kun!" Kurita beams. Tsuna's mother excuses herself back to the kitchen and the blonde that Tsuna guesses is Hiruma loses his smile.

"Fucking fatass, I told you to create a bond with the Vongola family, not tackle them!" He loads his gun.

Kurita steps in front of Tsuna. "Be careful," he says with a worried smile, "Hiruma-kun uses real bullets!"

"Of course." Tsuna mutters. _Of course_.

At the end of the night, after his living room is littered with bullet shells and Gokudera's fully passed out for the second time that day, Hibari eats croquettes silently across from Kurita who is successfully demolishing every other dish. The middle schooler seems to have grudgingly accepted the presence of the lineman, even though he still looks disgusted by the other's fatness.

Tsuna listens to Ryohei and Yamamoto (both bleeding from various wounds) talk about how 'cool' and 'extreme' high schoolers are, even though he is sure that no normal high schoolers tote guns and can stop a rampaging Hibari with one hand.

Reborn and Hiruma are speaking in the corner, and chills run down Tsuna's spine as he realizes that for once, Reborn doesn't look like he has the upper hand.

Finally, Reborn announces that they will be training partners with the Deimon High Amefuto team for the next week, participating in a few interesting "mini-games".

The glint in Hiruma's eyes makes Tsuna want to hide behind Kurita again.

Yamamoto remarks briefly on how he's always wanted to try another sport and Ryohei cheers. Hibari sneers.

Tsuna opens his mouth to say something sensible, but then he realizes how stupid that would be and just sighs and wonders if the blood will get out of his carpet.


End file.
